Dumb Excuses for Missing Work - Vol. 1
"Oh what tangled webs we weave,
When first we practice to deceive."
So Sir Walter Scott told us in Marmion. (Yes, I too thought it was from Shakespeare, but a little research quickly disabused me of that notion.)
Aaron Siebers, a Blockbuster employee in Colorado, apparently missed the class that covered the consequences of deception and tangled webs.
In a nutshell, Mr. Siebers went skateboarding before reporting to work, while wearing his uniform pants. He fell and ripped them. Concerned about the potential consequences to his employment of reporting to work in torn trousers, he tried to solve the problem by stabbing himself in the leg. With a knife. Really. And he called the police and told them that he had been attacked by three men, explaining the wound.
The police quickly determined that Siebers' story was as full of holes as his pants.
Siebers has been criminally charged with filing a false report and obstructing police. We don't know whether he got fired, but employment may be the least of his problems now.
Here's the full story, courtesy of The Smoking Gun.